How to Give Feedback That Actually Works

The opening chapter alone was worth the price. I finally understand why my 'specific and clear' feedback was getting such poor results. The explanation of the fundamental attribution error and how it makes people feel blamed rather than helped was an eye-opener. The framework in the later chapters builds logically from that, and I've already used it to have a conversation that I would have previously put off. It's practical, but it demands you think, not just follow a script.

I'm a manager, and I've read all the classic 'how to give feedback' books. This is the first one that doesn't just tell you what to say, but systematically explains why the other person will or won't hear it. The first chapter's breakdown of why the sandwich method is fundamentally flawed—not because it's cliché, but because it messes with the psychological sequence of how we process messages—is brilliant. The CORE framework is clear and I've already used it for a performance review. It simply works. I've bought copies for my entire leadership team.

Some useful points, definitely. The author makes a strong case in the first chapter that the context of the relationship is more important than the words you choose. That's a fair argument, though the book feels a bit dense in places and the framework can be overly procedural for day-to-day casual 'quick' feedback. It feels more geared toward high-stakes conversations, like formal reviews or performance issues. It made me think, but I didn't find myself using the step-by-step process for the small, frequent feedback moments, which are my real challenge.

I have never been so validated by a book in my life. The first chapter describes exactly how I've been feeling in my team for years—that my feedback just gets ignored or, worse, causes resentment. The author's point about our desire to 'be liked' being a huge obstacle to giving effective feedback is so true, and I didn't realize it was a systemic issue, not a personal weakness. The practical advice on what to do about that desire is worth its weight in gold. This has already changed how I approach my Monday 1:1s. Highly recommend for anyone who has to manage people.

As a mentor, I found this book to be a fantastic resource for structuring my sessions. The core idea of the second chapter is powerful: you can't just deliver a message; you have to manage the context and the person's reaction. The first chapter's emphasis on why people feel judged is a lesson in itself. I've started using the diagnostic checklist from the 'Common Mistakes' chapter to review my own past conversations, and I can see clearly where I went wrong. The book is direct and no-nonsense, and I feel more confident now knowing WHY some of my past feedback failed.

It's an okay book, but not the revolution it claims to be. The author's central point in the first chapter is that we over-focus on 'the message' and under-focus on 'the context', which is a good distinction. However, the book's examples are very manager-employee centric, even when it tries to branch out. I was hoping for something more applicable to personal relationships and giving advice to friends. The content is solid, just a bit more limited and structured for a professional environment. It didn't feel like a complete breakthrough, but the framework is a decent starting point.