Free Sample
The Youth Sports Parent Handbook
A field-tested system for raising resilient, confident, and capable young athletes - without losing your mind or your relationship with your child
by Alumigogo Books
Chapter 1: Why Most Approaches Fail — and What Actually Works
You are at the game. Your child, who has been practicing all week, is in the middle of the action, and then it happens. Maybe it is a missed shot at the buzzer, a striker blowing by your goalkeeper, or a dropped fly ball in the bottom of the last inning. You feel the familiar, hot flush of frustration rise from your chest. Your jaw tightens, your eyes narrow, and you are already composing the "constructive" speech for the car ride home. You think your words are helpful, informational, and necessary for their development.
Here is the truth: you are the problem. At least, your current strategy is.
This is not a coincidence, and it is not a personal failing. It is the result of a widespread, deeply entrenched, and demonstrably ineffective approach to parenting young athletes. We are all following a script that was written by well-meaning but misguided sports culture. The problem is that the script is wrong. It is based on a model of motivation and behavior that has been disproven by decades of sports psychology and child development research. We continue to follow it because it is familiar, because everyone else on the sideline is doing it, and because it gives us the illusion of control. This chapter is going to dismantle that script and show you why your approach is likely failing, and more importantly, what actually works.